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Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Pregnancy Humor

This is a list of pregnancy terms defined that I found on a website I was researching today. I would like everyone to know, that I appreciate and identify with the final definition of Third Trimester! Absolute Hillarity!

AFTERBIRTH: When the hard part begins.

CRAVINGS: An excuse to gluttonize your way through pregnancy.

DILATION: One of those things a pregnant woman has to take her doctor's or midwife's word for.

ELASTIPHOBIA: Fear of making it into the Guinness Book of World Records for "Most Stretch Marks."

FIRST TRIMESTER: The first three months of pregnancy when you wonder, "Is it too late to hire a surrogate mother?"

MATERNITY CLOTHES: What a pregnant woman wears to show people there's a reason she's fat.

MIRACLE: 1. The birth of a baby. 2. The fact that you lived to tell about it.

OBSTETRICIAN/MIDWIFE: The person who tells you you're doing fine when you think you're caught in the jaws of death.

PREGNANT PAUSE: The amount of time it takes for a 9-month pregnant woman to get out of a chair.

PRENATAL: When your life was still your own.

SECOND TRIMESTER: The time when you ask the question, "Will my husband notice if I eat this gallon of ice cream and side of beef before he gets home?"

THIRD TRIMESTER: The final months of pregnancy when you wonder, "How much longer can I keep from waddling?"


Dani said...

Technically I'm in the 3rd trimester now, but I'm still fitting into that 2nd trimester catagory. You know eating all the time, and then Gary comes home and remarks to himself that he was sure that there was still o.j. snickers bars, and pulled pork in the fridge the night before. hehe.

Rhonda said...

I will be praying for you during this special time, and wishing you and yours all the best. I will look forward to seeing pictures of baby Joshua very soon!

His Mercy Endureth Forever said...

Too Funny! You think it's hard to get in and out of a chair/car etc. wait until right after you give birth!

Anonymous said...

Ditto Kerry. Know matter how the baby gets out, you are going to be in major slo-mo for a few days!

My favorite was 2nd Trimester! Danielle, love your food choice combinations :)


Lori said...

Thanks for sharing this list! I'm still laughing after reading all the comments. Truth be told, when I read the definition of "pregnant pause", I laughed so hard, I snorted!

They need to add a #3 to "Miracle", something to the effect of "after having lived through pregnancy once, you willingly do it a second -- or third -- time". It is amazing how you decide all the pain and discomfort of pregnancy, labor and delivery is worth it.

Bekah said...

Ohh...the waddling. I got in trouble when I was 9 for telling my Aunt Kim that she "waddled like a duck" when she was pregnant with her son. For some reason she didn't find it as hilarious as I did. Surely you aren't waddling, but if so, it is very graceful waddle.